Helping professionals and families for twenty years.
Tel: (650) 685-8390
Purpose. Values. Goals
Career. Marriage. Separation. Divorce.
Depression. Anxiety. Anger. Addictions
Professionals. Couples. Parenting. Family.
Areas of Practice
Intimacy is the first casualty of success. You're working hard to give those you love what they want and need yet there's never enough time ... That's because intimacy is not a time management issue.
Depression is the common cold of mental health. Its handmaidens are anxiety and anger. We work hard to learn how to manage our professions but few of us have studied the strategies for managing ourselves.
We tune up the car, the copier, the computer. It's understood that things need professional, expert maintenance, that it costs time and money to keep our tools and toys in good operating condition. Making time to tune up your relationships, professional and personal, might be one of your best investments.
We "know" about retirement from day one. So why is there an identity crisis for many people who retire? How does it impact your spouse or partner? As one woman said: "I married him for better or for worse, but not for lunch!"
Fifty percent of first marriages end in divorce. Sixty-seven percent of second marriages end in divorce. Many divorces would not take place if there had been premarital counseling. Get good coaching before things get rough. It all goes back to the relationship tune up.
LOSS / GRIEF
Feelings of loss and grief bring up images of death, divorce, tragedy in many manifestations. The empty nest syndrome is associated with sadness, and yet it is a joyous occasion: The children went off to college. How about weddings? Why do mothers (and fathers) cry? The first baby is born. An occasion for loss/grief? It's right up there with the top family traumas. When you received that last promotion, you are now your best friend's boss. There is a definite loss of intimacy in the business relationship that may cause grieving.
When we have a philosophy of change, a set of guiding principles, things can go more smoothly. For example, some families eat meat and potatoes. End of story. Others like changing menus, and a diversity of friends who introduce new cuisine. That liking is a mental openness. It facilitates change.
After adultery some people continue to live together without trust (they never rebuilt it). Others are out the door so fast their children's lives are damaged. Others turn a blind eye, as if not talking about it will make it go away. Some listen to all the adulterous "confessions," and "I'm sorrys" as if it could never happen again. What to do?
FAMILIES ARE FOREVER
Everyone has one. Even if you're single you have a family of origin. All families have problems. Some people "deal" with them. Others solve them.
They are part of the life cycle, personal and professional: Career change, marriage, separation, divorce, relocation. Even after fifty, "the best is yet to be." Planning ahead for opportunities, not just crises, is a matter of mindset.
People who get ahead take courses, attend conferences, arrange meetings to exchange information. But how many people allocate time and money to determine their inner strengths? If you were asked right now: "What is your purpose in life?" could you answer it easily? If you can't, it may be that you're extremely busy and "successful" but way off course.
It usually starts at the beginning, where most things start. Whenever an athlete's performance is out of sync most coaches take them back to the basics: ground strokes, serve, forehand, backhand, body position. That's why there's a definite correlation between tots and teens: Garbage in, garbage out. Whether you are in the empty nest stage, coping with adult children who have returned home, or finding your way through the mother-in-law, father-in-law labyrinth, some coaching may be helpful.